With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
