yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
