Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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