in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
