john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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