im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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