I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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