I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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