I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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