Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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