just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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