dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
