Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize