Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
