Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
