How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
