I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I forget how to act sober
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