so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
