Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
