he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
