The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
