I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
