I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
