Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
