my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
