Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
