my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
