I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
