That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize