did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
