This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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