Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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