TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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