This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
