um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
