she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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