I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
