Hey man sorry I got all grabby
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
