I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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