My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
