wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
