I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
