How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
