I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
