where am i from again
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
