nut hugger
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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