Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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