the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
