He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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