I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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