her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize