Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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