This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
