You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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