Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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