Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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