he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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