Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
