The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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