I hate all girls vehemently.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
