So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
