yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
